I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
