we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
