my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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