bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i may or may not be watching the land before time
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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