he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Randomize
