I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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