She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
