when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
