Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
