dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
