I was born with a shot glass in my hand
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
