yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
