You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
