I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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