It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
