Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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