You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
