porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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