what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
