Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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