ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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