she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
