Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
