Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
