I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
