Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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