It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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