i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
