You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
