Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he thought i was a dude.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
