Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
