Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
