the condom got lost in my hair
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
