It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
