I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
