I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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