i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
