so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I licked your asshole in confidence.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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