Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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