Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
