Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
