i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he shaved USA in his pubs
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
