this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
