i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
