I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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