Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
