I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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