Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
