im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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