sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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