Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
